Not yet

19.08.2017

Alive now
In this moment
You don't know what the future holds
If it holds anything
What "might" happen
You don't know
Where will you be?

In my imagination the future is colourful.
Splashes, lines and dots of beautiful colours are forming and decorating the canvas of my future.
I have expectations.
Notions of what success means.

What I do not yet know is that whatever is, will never be again.
In the moment of realising this, I will forget about the future and I might get lost in the past.

One day will never be exactly like another.
Never.
Not in reality.

The future is empty and you do not have the ability to apply colour to it.
But you will be given people, scenarios and situations far out of your control.

What will you do with them?
Of course you don't know until you know.

The wait before the knowing can be incredibly painful and it can seem like ages of uncertainty.
What do you do with the not knowing?

Is locking yourself in the past an option?
Hiding in the past.
The past in which you know all the solutions.
The past.
Where it seems like it all meant something.
The past that is colourful.

That is my guarantee.
The colours of my past.
The meaning of whatever was.
Whatever is.
Whatever is to come.

Taking whatever comes
As myself.

Knowing it was never up to me to control what came.
It was my job to see it.
Accept it or jump out of its way
Never to control it.

With acceptance comes the colours.
The colours you could not predict.
You could not foresee them because you did not have imagination to know what needed colouring.
What you wanted to colour did not exist yet.

You don't know the shapes of your future.
They will be placed in your life at unexpected times.
You will not always know what to do with them.
Trust that the colours of acceptance will give whatever comes the right colours.

In the next moment you will be able to look back.
If only for a second.
In that moment you will realise that the painting of the past is more beautiful than before.
You might not know why.
If you had spent all your life looking at it, it would never have reached its potential.
The present is in that moment.
The present is colouring the past.
Therefore you can't stay there.
You must move.

The present is in that moment of looking back.
It is in that moment of looking forward.
In that moment.
You are alive now.
And it has meaning.

Believe that your colours of acceptance is enough.
That they are just as beautiful and valuable as everyone else's.

And remember.
In the present the future is always blank.
There are no colours yet.
Not yet.

However, never let anyone belittle the colours of your dreams.
Know that these dreams are there for a reason.
You are here for a reason.
You just don't know yet.
Not yet.

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